The Power of Listening at a Mediation

Mon, Nov 24th, 2025 | by Miles Mediation and Arbitration | Article | Social Share

By Scott Zucker

One of my favorite expressions has always been, “we have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” This adage may be nowhere more important than during a mediation. Ultimately, in a setting where all sides have come in good faith to seek a resolution of their dispute, the importance of listening and the psychological and physical elements of true listening are crucial to support the possible success of the mediation process.

The Importance of Listening at Mediation

In any mediation, the central objective is to resolve a dispute in a way that both (or all) parties can accept. While negotiation strategies, legal positions, and financial considerations all play important roles, one element often overlooked is the simple but powerful act of listening. Mediation is not just about presenting one’s own case; it is equally about being willing to hear and understand the perspectives of others.
When participants listen with openness and intention, the process becomes more constructive and the path toward settlement clearer. To truly “hear” the other side during a discussion of resolution you must maintain an open mind to the facts and law that relate to the dispute between the parties. Such openness in communication can create a connection between the parties, which may engender empathy toward the other side involved in a dispute. Any such affinity towards an adversary in a dispute may be a necessary element towards reaching a resolution.
“True” Listening

At its core, listening in mediation is not just about remaining silent while the other side speaks. True listening involves actively engaging with the information presented, whether it is evidence, arguments, or personal accounts. This means not only acknowledging the words but also considering the underlying concerns and motivations behind them. When parties demonstrate genuine attentiveness, they create an atmosphere of respect that encourages dialogue rather than defensiveness.

The Importance of Eye Contact

This is one of the reasons why the effort to create eye contact between the speaker and the listener is important. Certainly, if the parties fail to establish any eye contact during their communication, the speaker might assume that the listener cannot be swayed, is bored or, possibly, that the listener is suffering some guilt or shame regarding the matter being discussed. Further, if one person is talking and the other side is interrupting or is distracted by extraneous factors (such as a smartphone), the person talking might believe his or her comments are not being heard or considered. Without the trust that the party listening is paying attention to what is being said, the credibility of the conversation is weakened.

The Physical Aspect of Listening
In addition to eye contact, the body language of both speaker and listener can have a powerful impact on what is being communicated, and how it is received. Every part of a conversation includes not only what the person says, but how it is said. The physical part of any conversation is a true validation of the person’s intent in what he or she is saying whether the words are said with open arms and a smile compared to crossed arms and closed eyes.

To have effective communications the parties, notwithstanding their positions in the dispute, must make a good faith effort to restrain from aggressive behavior or any demonstration of disregard for the comments that are being made. Even though an opposing party may disagree with what is being said, the willingness to listen, without interruption, and without physical barriers, may lead towards a connection that can bridge the gap in an existing dispute.

Listening for Hidden Interests
Disputes often arise and escalate because each side feels misunderstood, dismissed, or unheard. By listening carefully, a party signals that the other side’s perspective is valued. This recognition, even when there is strong disagreement, can lower emotional barriers and reduce hostility. It also allows for a clearer understanding of the issues at stake, which can lead to creative solutions. Often, settlements are reached because each side has found ways to accommodate the most important interests of the other. Those interests can only be discovered through listening.
Listening as a Path to Reality Testing

Another reason listening is so critical is that it helps parties realistically assess the strengths and weaknesses of their case. When a party takes the time to hear the opposing arguments and evidence, he or she is forced to confront the potential risks of proceeding to trial or arbitration. A mediated settlement often results from this “reality testing,” where a party realizes that the opposition’s arguments may resonate with a judge, jury, or arbitrator.

Listening, therefore, is not just polite; it is a strategic tool for evaluating risk and moving toward resolution. It is critically important in the process of listening to make sure the message being conveyed is clear and understood by the party who is listening. The speaker should not assume that what he or she is saying is absolutely clear to the listener; setting time aside for questions can be very helpful to the process. If the listener doesn’t understand what the speaker has said, asking questions can help resolve misunderstandings and clarify what’s being communicated. In fact, such questions can help clear up issues for both sides.

The Mediator’s Role in Encouraging Listening
Mediators are skilled at creating conditions for listening. Through techniques such as reframing, summarizing, and encouraging open-ended dialogue, mediators ensure that each side not only speaks but also feels heard. When a mediator repeats back or reframes a party’s statement, it models effective listening and reinforces the importance of the practice. This structure helps prevent the process from devolving into a one-sided monologue and keeps the focus on shared understanding.

Ultimately, settlement depends on more than presenting persuasive arguments. It depends on each side’s willingness to consider, even if not agree with, the opposing perspective. Listening opens the door to compromise by revealing areas of overlap and clarifying the issues that truly divide the parties. When both sides listen, they often discover that resolution is possible in ways that were not initially apparent.

Conclusion

Listening in mediation is not a passive activity. It is an active, intentional practice that allows each party to acknowledge the legitimacy of the other’s concerns, evaluate their risks realistically, and identify solutions that might otherwise remain hidden. By treating listening as a vital tool in the negotiation process, parties increase their chances of reaching a resolution that feels fair, respectful, and lasting. In mediation, listening is not just courteous, but it is essential to success.